Within the last eight years, the USGA has updated its Rules of Golf, thereby creating several modernized rule adjustments.
For example, there is no longer a penalty for accidentally moving your ball while searching for it, or for accidentally moving your ball or marker on the putting green; if the ball moves and you didn’t cause it to move, there is no penalty. There is no longer a penalty if you touch or move loose impediments or touch the ground with your hand or club in a penalty area, which means you may remove stones and other loose items from sand bunkers. When taking a penalty drop a player is no longer required to drop the ball from shoulder height; the drop is now from knee level, limiting where the ball may roll.
But one rule that still remains, which truly frosts me, is that the ball must be played as it lies out of a fairway divot.
The main purpose of the USGA changes was to make the game less intimidating and more fun to play. Of course, as the Golf Doctor, I have my own proposed rules with the object of speeding up the game while preserving some traditions and encouraging good behavior.
The first of “Doc’s Rules” is the penalty for slow play. After a first warning, the offending golfer and group must pick up their balls, without argument, and immediately move to the next hole. With the second warning to the group of snails, upon finishing their hole the players are fined $50 each, payable in the pro shop, which would be donated to junior golf. On the third contact for a slow play infraction, all the players in the slow group will be escorted off the golf course. They may be allowed back no sooner than three weeks hence, with a much later tee time. Other golf courses in the area may be warned about the slow plodding group.
My second proposed rule concerns club throwing. There would be no penalty for “tossing” a golf club, say within a few feet of a golf bag, when not provoked by anger. The penalty for the first thrown or slammed club is one stroke with a payment of $20 to junior golf at the pro shop. For a second throw, the penalty is three strokes and a $50 fine. A third throw means the player is banned from the course for one month.
My third proposal is a penalty for inappropriate attire on the golf course. How hard can it be to wear proper golf slacks or shorts and a proper golf shirt with a collar? Many golf clubs have dress requirements, but not in our town. Some folks say that defining dress would not be “welcoming.” I feel we need to respect the traditions of golf itself. Here are my proposed consequences for improper dress: A player may be permitted to proceed to the suitable locker room and change to approved attire. Such attire may be purchased in the pro shop. A player may join the original group, or wait for an opening in the tee time lineup.
Next we consider some of the most despicable creatures to inhabit the links, the “grounds despoilers.” These are the nitwits who can’t be bothered replacing or sanding divots on the fairways or ball marks on the greens and ignore raking their own footprints in the bunkers. It would be hard to penalize these miscreants since they are so hard to catch in the act.
There are other situations that may also require new rules, such as cheating and sandbagging, but I’ll leave those for a later investigation.
